My first post on here since 2015!! A post prompted by ‘a moment’ I just had on the tube. A Christmas moment, if you like, that conjured up memories and thoughts that caused moist eyes and a lumpy throat. A moment that lasted and accompanied me as I wandered through the bustling lanes of Covent Garden. It started when I noticed a lady opposite me on the train with a small boy on either side. Cute little boys, probably 6 and 8ish, a similar age difference between our boys. There was a sense of wonder and expectation in their eyes as I presumed they were on their way to a shopping trip or possibly a trip to see friends, or a show, or Father Christmas, or maybe none of the above. But they reminded me of our boys at that age – they’re 37 and 35 now – and the excitement that the anticipation of Christmas brought to their faces, and how much anxiety that build up to Christmas used to cause me. Maggie could always see it happening to me, any time from October onwards, and she’d say “Are you thinking about Christmas again?”. There has never been any rational reason for this anxiety but I just wanted to give my children the best Christmas possible. There was no pressure to deliver this, certainly not from Maggie and certainly not from my children. It was a self-inflicted responsibility.
I never felt deprived as a child. Our Christmases were comfortable. I never felt deprived nor indulged. I’ll never know, though, what pressures my parents felt to deliver the best Christmas possible. It just happened, I suppose. And our kids were never demanding nor over-expectant and I never got a feeling of disappointment from them during the Christmas festivities. They always knew that there were periods of famine or feast. But that sense of wonder and excitement, that I saw in those boys on the tube, was so evocative. A crowded Covent Garden is a million miles away from my childhood Christmases and pretty far removed from our children’s but it just made me think about my family, especially as children, and brought a tear to my eye. Family moments are so precious, whether with or without children, and they must be treasured.
‘Moment’ over.